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How To Discuss Finances With Your Spouse Without Fighting

Talking to your spouse about money and the household finances can often times be tough especially if you are having financial problems or living paycheck to paycheck.  …but as hard as it is, you must be able to talk to your spouse about your finances.

Differences over money is often the number one cause for fights within a marriage, many times leading to separation or divorce.  Below are a few ways that might help you and your spouse discuss money, openly and honestly.

Where they are coming from.

Before you find yourself getting frustrated with your spouse over money, try to get a grasp on how money and finances were treated when they were growing up.  Did they come from a family that taught them to be more conservative with finances… to save every penny earned, paying cash for everything and avoiding credit at all costs?  Or did they come from a family that spent money with reckless abandon?  …never saving and buying anything that they wanted at the time?

Much like other things, we often imitate our parents when it comes to our “style” of managing finances.  Understanding where your spouse is coming from financially just might help you to understand why they are the way they are when it comes to your family’s finances.

Speak up.

Even if you find it difficult talking to your spouse about money, it is necessary to break through that barrier.  For a marriage to be truly successful, open communication is key.  Having frank, open conversations about money with your spouse, on a regular basis, just might open up other conversations between the two of you that you were reluctant to talk about.


Many times it seems to be impossible to talk to your spouse about the finances without a yelling match ensuing.  Yelling is not an effective form of communication… especially when it comes to money and your spouse.

Do not raise your voice.  Clarkhoward.com has some great advice on this exact thing, “Do not raise your voice. Do not say nasty things. Do not sulk, pout, curse or in any way talk harshly. Money conversations should be level headed, and calm.

Remember that your spouse is not the enemy. Money is not the enemy. The goal in money conversations should always be trying to understand what’s being said and resolving any issues that may arise by saving the relationship. Be conscious to lower your voice, approach your spouse gently and softly with the goal of resolving, understanding, planning and moving forward.”

Do it together.

If a discussion concerning money is sure to spark an argument with your spouse, it’s time to put it to an end.  You must get organized and create a budget.  Pick one day in the week to make your weekly budget meetings.  After creating your household budget, meet weekly to discuss how much money you have and if there are any financial needs that are going unmet and how much money each of you have and how your budget is working out.  These weekly meetings will go a long way in keeping each of you accountable and the lines of communication open.

As I’m sure you are aware, no two relationships are the alike.  You might not have immediate success with these tactics.  Some may work just fine while others not at all.  No matter, it is important that you strive to find the one that works best for you.

If you find yourself struggling with debt or would like to find out about becoming debt free, call Debthelper at 800-920-2262, or visit @ www.debthelper.com.


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